I am supposed to be outside weeding my gardens. It is the first nice day of the spring/summer season in Wisconsin. So, of course, I am inside avoiding the physical labor and instead searching my computer for writing samples.
It has been a long time since I kept this blog; I journeyed into the pages quite by accident while searching for that elusive sample. After reading some of the entries, I realized that I miss writing on this blog. I enjoy it and so I will keep it moving this time, at least for a while, and hopefully my entries won't be so few and far between.
I recently left my job and have entered into the world of new job hunter. It is close to hunting for that perfect home, perfect haircut or perfect pair of tennis shoes. Once you find them, it is hard to duplicate.
I always thought that I had the job of my dreams. I loved working with the students and faculty to perfect their projects and help them to discover hidden talents. I am most happy when I am helping others. But I was slowly killing myself, spreading myself too thin, and not taking into consideration the consequences my actions may be having on my and my family life.
I never gave that statement much thought until recently. I have been talking with a counselor to try and find where I fit in - how and why I am here on earth. But until I really thought about it, I never realized what I had been doing. I had been worrying so much about everyone else that I ended up putting myself second. For my entire life, I have always put everyone else first: my father, my family, my friends, my job, so much so that I have become very good at making myself second fiddle. Almost as if everyone else's needs were more important than my own.
Then I started to reach out for help, asking those that I supported for so many years to support me. Through this journey, I have found my true friends, my true family, and my true reason for existing. All of you know who you are because I have thanked you for your support and told you how important your words have been to me.
My existence may actually be to help others, and to explore and fail so that I can better understand and instruct. I have a new focus and a new outlook. The future is still fuzzy and I will always be looking for that next piece of adventure, but I will probably never stop exploring and this blog will allow you to join in on the fun.
Perhaps someday those adventures will include me being able to travel and take photos; that is truly my dream. I have a friend that does this for a living, but he has been working hard at his craft for many years. I could never imagine being in his shoes. Maybe it could be possible on a smaller scale. I would love to document American struggles and triumphs. I have always wanted to do a story on Route 66, traveling it during the summer months and detailing what I find. Of course, that travel would have to be in a convertible for full effect - or perhaps an old station wagon filled with my family!
For now, it's time to sign off and journey onto other parts of my life. After all, those gardens won't weed themselves!
Until the next post, be good to yourself. Give yourself a chance to make mistakes, and be forgiving of yourself when you do. Remember: love those around you, and live for the day!
