Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Showing no fear is not an easy task

I will let Steve tell you all about the monkeys we saw this morning and how the dogs on campus are responsible for keeping them away but chasing them all over the place. I will also let him tell you about the one we saw crossing the road in heavy traffic - they look both ways. I am not going to talk about crossing traffic and following behind Steve who is getting so bold that he walked in front of a bus. No, I am going to tell you about a much bigger threat. The threat of an unwanted guest in your room.

This guest must have entered through the bathroom window, which I had accidentally left open too long into the evening. I found him when I returned from my walk with Steve and Vince to the local store to pick up some soda. I opened the door to my room and he scampered behind my desk.

Yup - you guessed it - one of India's finest - Chippy the squirrel decided to make my room his own. I didn't scream - I have had dealings with crafty squirrels before and had emerged the victor. This time was to be no different.

I left my door open and went to find Ignatius - he would be sure to furnish me with my weapon of choice - a long handled broom. Finding no one around but Fr. Francis, the retired bishop, I knew I was to go to battle on my own. Putting on the bravest face I could I entered the battle ground. My first action was to close up the suitcases and equipment bags - no need to give him bunkers to hide out in. I removed the hershey's kisses I had stashed in the desk drawer - he didn't need any rations either. No this squirrel was going to have to rough it if he was to live in my bunkhouse.

Slowly I opened the remaining two drawers. No chippy could be found. I checked under the bed - not their either. This left only the curtains for cover. Bravely I grasped the end of one and flung it into the air. It came off the rod and with a thud landed on the chair in the corner of the room. This was no ordinary squirrel - he was a crafty one. I knew he had to be somewhere in my room - but just where was beginning to be a bit of a mystery.

Luckily for chippy I had to leave to visit Loyola High School with the rest of the team. This battle would have to resume, complete with reinforcements when I returned.

Pinky was waiting to take us to the school so I was distracted by polite conversation and a good meal - but not for long. Fr. Robert told us about another Jesuit's love of snakes. They discussed how you could tell if a snake was poisonous by its fang marks. I am not sure about you - but if you can see the tooth impression in your skin - too late! Anyway they talked about rats falling on you as you slept and monkey's jumping on them as they delivered mass. All the while I was developing my plan. Even Fr. Vinayak's memory of having a snake approach him while he delivered a traditional Indian service (they all sit on the floor) and his jumping on the alter to avoid it did not keep me from my task. On the way back I started to put my game face on and prepare my soldiers for the battle.

I would open the door and throw Steve at the mercy of the squirrel. He has taken on a six foot monkey and a bus - surely something as small, brown and fuzzy as a squirrel should be no problem. Steve was a willing participant, walking in and banging around to try and coax the beast from his hiding place. But he was not successful. Next, I tried a different approach. I chose my second warrior - Fr. Vinayak. He is from these parts and knows the enemy well. He checked out the room and closed the high closet doors so that if Chippy was hiding in them he would be trapped. He then pointed to the statue of Jesus in the room and told me I was protected and not to worry.

I felt a little better - but was really wishing it was a St. Francis statue - he had come through for me in the past when the squirrels of Marquette had stolen my keys - but that is another battle story for a different day.

Returning to my room I began to pick up and pack for the way home - which was coming sooner than we had planned with our flight being swapped to early afternoon instead of late evening. As I packed up I lifted and checked out each article. I had no need for a stow-away. Chippy was not found in the area. I am only hoping that he saw I was a strong foe and chose to sneak out a different route. I will keep my eye open just a little the remaining three nights. This may not be the end of the story. I will let you know, but for now, I am storing my peanut butter in a locked drawer.

2 comments:

  1. Enjoying both blogs, Prof. Burns!

    Btw, ask Prof. Byers what he does with squirrels. It's a side of him unseen at MU. . . .

    And while you're doing so, lead a chorus of "Happy Birthday" for Prof. Byers -- since he's aging faster in India, where January 7 comes sooner than it does here at home.

    Just tell him "Sweetiekins" tipped you off to his special day. :-)

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  2. Allllrrriiiiggghhht, all of you reading in this in India! Reports are that Prof. Byers walked into class this morning (your morning in your time zone, anyway) to be greeted with the dreaded chorus of "Happy Birthday."

    And it was such fun to tell him that you all were told about it on this blog, not on his blog -- where he could have removed that comment before anyone saw it. Instead, you saw it here and followed through for those of us far away on his special day. Thanks, again!

    Oh, and did you also sing "How Old Are You?" And if so, did you get an answer? And do you think you got the truth or, as Prof. Byers would say in quoting Stephen Colbert, a "truthy" answer? If you have that journalistic need to know, just let me know.

    Signed,

    Yr Distant Admirer

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